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Thursday, June 9, 2005

...

had co 2day..

felt so bad..

coz i scolded de co 2day..

felt angry n pissed by the ppl's attitude...

why cant they juz start everythin on time..

even my comm ppl can come telling me...

that they are nt going to attend de combined prac..

when they knew that conductor is nt coming...

and coming up with lame reasons...

that they have something on at hme..

hw great is that..

nt once.. but twice..

realli..

i am pissed..

but yet...

u are my jie-mei..

i dont know how to scold u..

u are realli 1 of those frenz ..

that actually lights up my life in poly..

and yet u are oso 1 of those..

that pushed me dwn to de deepest ever valley...

i realli wondered when will i break down again..

i juz felt like a fool..

breaking down coz of SPCO..

often i thought to myself..

is all these worth it?..

is all those tears that roll down worth it's value..

is all those worries, all those problems i had worth it?!

i duno..

i cant see a result..

i cant see an end to all these....

maybe what i expect from my comm is too high..

maybe i am juz too naive..

by thinkin that i can realli do a fantastic job..

yesh.. i am too naive..

believing everything that ppl say..

i cant even make a decision on myself....

on whether still continue on...

with combined practice even if without de conductor...

i felt so useless..

juz having the title "PRESIDENT" next to my name...

and yet i cant make ani decision...

damn......

i totally have no idea...

fer what fcukin reason am i still staying in SPCO..

coz of the responsibility??!

i even have thoughts that juz run away from the practices...

but i cant..

i have the responsibility on me.......

i HATE responsibility!!!!

but i shld be at least be contented that i have those alumnis that helped..

at least there is Evelyn, Yingqi, Yinzhi, Desmond, ChuanCheng, Peicheng, Lingling, Wenhao, Ah Heng...

though they are juz alumnis...

though i may be rude to them..

but still..

they are realli impt to me..

coz they realli helped me lots...

be it juz a word of encouragment...

be it juz listening to me complain...

all these realli touches my heart..

thankz..

and oso Samuel, Peile, Layleng, Angeline...

they realli support me lots..

especially Leng...

she have been helping me even till nw..

i felt so guilty..

is nt once tat i let her down..

but lots of time..

and yet she did nt blame me..

and yet she dun show her anger.....

thankz...

-gal,

dry up ur tears and be strong...-

=>...<=
posted by ® ø ņ ğ § ² ™
6/09/2005 12:33:00 AM

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